Features - Women,Libido, and the Menopause

Sexual Desire for a woman is a complex emotional response, not something that is purely fired by hormones.

For some woman it may be being wined and dined, her loved one buying her flowers, being given a massage, or being helped with the housework. These things all help a woman to feel more “in the mood” But for the majority of women in a relationship, it is far more to do with communication, feeling heard, being valued, seen, and appreciated.

Communication from both partners is vital. Some woman finds that if their partner starts to open up to them emotionally, it is a real “turn on”. Others may find that if their partner becomes more assertive, it can be what they need. We are all so different, which is why communication is so important. Also communicate about what you want sexually; remember the whole of your body can be an erogenous zone.

Anger will kill sexual desire stone dead, so if you have buried resentments towards your loved one, it is a good idea to let them see the light of day. Though depending on your other half, not necessarily directly at him (her). A good device is to write out with meaning your anger and resentment. Then burn it, tear it up, and do not leave it lying around to be read by the object of your wrath! Get into the habit of saying what is upsetting you as it happens, rather than letting it build. If you are suffering from depression, the same advice holds good, depression is often anger turned in against yourself.

If a sexual relationship is out of balance with one partner feeling sexually needy, the other person is likely to withdraw, and want sex less. This can alternate many times within that relationship. I often think of the Woody Allen film Annie Hall, where when asked how frequently he has sex, his response is 'almost never, twice a week', and her response to the same question is 'all the time, twice a week'. People can use sex to fulfil all sorts of needs, not necessarily sexual, and if this is going on, the other partner will on some level pick up on it.

In Homeopathy, one way of judging a patient’s general energy is to find out how their sexual energy is. So if their sexual energy improves, you know that their general energy is better. If someone is ill with a chronic disease, sexual energy is often low; this is the body’s way of conserving energy for the purpose of living.

Menopause is not a disease; it is a natural process, a time of transition. Sexual energy in both men and women at the time of the Menopause, or Andropause, will decrease to some extent as testosterone levels drop. But it should still be there, just less frequently. In women, testosterone the hormone responsible for libido, is still produced in the ovaries for many years after the menopause, but to a lesser extent than before. It drops by about 30%. The Adrenal glands will also produce testosterone.

Testosterone therapy, is now being considered as the new wonder drug for women’s libido. However there are side effects such as breast cancer, acne, baldness, and facial hair.

If a woman is oestrogen dominant, either from oestrogen only HRT, taking too much soya products, or by being overweight, (fatty cells produce oestrogen), an underactive thyroid can develop. One of the symptoms of an underactive thyroid is to develop total lack of sexual desire. So often when women think menopause has caused lack of libido, it could actually be due to hypothyroidism.

Vaginal dryness causing pain is one-reason women avoid sex. Use a good lubrication. You could be more inventive now, as there is no need to worry about the substance interfering with condoms (if you are in a monogamous relationship). You could try "YES". a new organic lubricant on the market. Another option could be to try progesterone cream, it may be helpful, however it does not suit all women. Weight gain and depression have been described by a few, as side effects from progesterone cream.

So how can you improve your libido? Treat your adrenals well: Take plenty of exercise, quit smoking, eat plenty of omega 3 fatty acids, and cut down on stress as much as you can. Any foods containing mannose, a substance used by the Chinese to regulate hormones and increase libido may help, such as Shitake mushrooms, aloe vera, and cranberries.

Jo Pitcairn (Web site Manager)

Page updated: 22 February 2009